365 Days of Determination: A Goalkeeper’s PK Shootout Journey

“History repeats” implies that events and situations tend to occur in similar patterns to how they occurred before. It is a reminder that we sometimes get a second chance to get things right or hopefully have a better outcome. As athletes, we have an opportunity to improve upon our performance and achieve better results. The question is, though, will the athlete put in the hard work to bring about a different outcome?

Just one year ago, during my first season of high school soccer as a freshman on my school’s varsity team, our season came to a close during the quarterfinals. How it came to a close was, to say the least, disappointing for me because the game went into overtime, and then PKs. As a goalkeeper, this is something you are obviously trained and prepared for. Unfortunately, my team and I did not end up on top. 

Losing is inevitable. It is a part of the process for athletes on their journey to becoming the best version of themselves. I definitely understood that.

I also understand that to be a true competitive athlete, it is essential to embrace these losses and learn from them. What I didn’t fully realize until this past week, a year later, is what a difference 365 days can make if you truly put in the hard work each and every day and moment. As Kobe brilliantly shared, “Hard work outweighs talent—every time.”

After we lost that match, I decided to make a list of goals for myself. At the top of the list was to work on my mentality and how I reacted to that match. My second goal was to work on being prepared for my next penalty kicks.

I know that the score of a game or a lost match does not necessarily indicate poor performance. However, I want to have a long-lasting career in this sport while maintaining my love for goalkeeping. Therefore, I needed to develop a better self-sensor. Last year, I allowed myself to get a little caught up by some of the comments made about my performance during the PK shootout. A couple were about the nickname I was given, “The Wall,” and suggestions that I possibly change the nickname. Some questioned the decision to allow an underclassman to take the PKs. I know my teammates were also experiencing similar situations for missing their shots, so I wasn’t alone in this. We expected this a little and had prepared for some harsh criticism as this is part of the game, but what I had not anticipated was the duration of receiving them. 

I decided I wanted to work with a mental skills coach again. This time, I made a few focus points. I also sought out more training challenges. I put myself in environments where I was nowhere near being the best player. I found training environments where I train with high school boys and men and with professional women’s soccer players–a couple of them being on national teams. This helps push me to be a better player.

One of the training programs I attend weekly ends its session with a PK shootout. In the beginning, especially after losing that high school match, this was quite nerve-racking. But I knew this was exactly what I needed: to face this head-on and not let a lot of time lapse. So, 365 days later, history has repeated itself. 

During the quarter-final match of my high school team on Valentine’s Day this year, we headed into overtime and then PKs. While waiting for the officials to call us on the field, I started to clear my mind. I did my box breathing and then, as my mental skills coach and I had worked on, focused on the controllable–my PK routine. I have a set routine of movements that I do so that I can focus on rather than having racing thoughts on outcomes, self-doubt, or any negative thoughts.

The first shot was taken, and I dove to the right while my opponent went left. The ball found its way into the back of the net. The second shot was taken, but I managed to save it. Then came the third and fourth shots, and both resulted in goals. It was now time for the fifth shot, which, if I saved, would give us a ticket to the semifinals.

I went through my pre-shot routine and got myself ready. The whistle blew, and the ball was kicked. I deflected the shot. It didn’t sink in that we had won right away. It was only when I saw my teammates running towards me that it hit me.

Win or lose, I was in a better place this year because I had spent an entire year working on my player development and strengthening my game day mentality. Little did I know that I would be in the same situation again a year later.

Consistently putting in hard work, not just occasionally, can be a game changer. Although my teammates and I never openly discussed our feelings last year, we knew we had to consistently work on certain skills and goals if we wanted a different result. Our efforts paid off and now we are heading into the San Joaquin CIF Finals. 

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