Gaining an Edge: Are You Your Own Worst Enemy on the Soccer Field?

Today, we are going to have a conversation about self-talk: the good and the bad, and why it is absolutely CRUCIAL to eliminate negative self-talk if you want to play your best soccer and reach the top of the game.

Your own worst enemy

To build confidence in soccer and play more calmly under pressure, you MUST commit to leaving behind detrimental, negative thinking. Detrimental thinking refers to any damaging self-talk or self-defeating mentality–basically any thoughts that are not GOOD, USEFUL, or CONSTRUCTIVE to your game.

Our brains have a negative bias. They automatically lean towards the bad. Because of this, self-defeating thoughts typically happen unconsciously, meaning you are not purposely TRYING to have negative thoughts. They show up uninvited and make you feel crappy about yourself and your performance on the soccer field.

These types of thoughts and self-talk are usually deeply ingrained in how you operate–meaning you’ve probably been doing it for a long time, and most likely, you are not even fully aware of the extent of it.

Common self-defeating mentalities

These self-defeating thoughts impede focus and concentration and contribute to players getting in THEIR OWN WAY on the soccer field.

• racing, anxious thoughts
• overthinking (about anything and everything)
• worrying about what others think; if their performance is good enough
• catastrophizing (thinking about the worst-case scenario)
• self-criticism (aka beating themselves up)
• replaying mistakes, getting stuck in past moments, and regretting decisions
• resenting or being angry at teammates, refs, coaches, or anything you can’t control
• ‘I should have done better’ thoughts about missed opportunities
• putting unrealistic expectations on yourself in regards to game outcomes

These negative thoughts destroy confidence and composure by making it very busy inside your head. The self-defeating thoughts make it impossible to concentrate on what you need to play well (such as where the ball is, what I am doing to support my teammates and create space, whether I am in the right position to defend, etc.).

Detrimental thoughts self-defeat. They fill you with doubt, take away your focus, destroy your belief in yourself and make it more likely that you’ll make panicky, rushed decisions. The opposite of calm and composed. And this doesn’t help your confidence either.

The power of self-talk

Let’s define positive self-talk because this is a big piece of it and what Socceristas want to move toward. Positive self-talk does NOT mean being chipper and cheerful all the time (that’s not always going to be the most helpful thing in the moment). Instead, positive self-talk means ensuring you have only GOOD, USEFUL, and CONSTRUCTIVE messages running through your head on the soccer field. And you are intentionally choosing to say NO to the detrimental thoughts that get in the way of your ability to focus and concentrate on the soccer game in front of you.

By being very intentional about what type of thoughts and self-talk you are allowing to happen inside your head, you can gain a HUGE edge over your competition. A mental edge, you might say. This is because you are CHOOSING what is going on in there, and you are CHOOSING to focus on helpful things and not detrimental things.

The first step: self-awareness

Socceristas, it IS possible to end these self-defeating, overcritical thought patterns and start to overcome your brain’s natural negative bias. It just requires practice, patience, and a whole lot of self-awareness. To stop the racing thoughts, you first need to be aware of what is happening. Then, you must be aware of the presence and frequency of the thoughts before making changes.

Good self-awareness means realizing that negative self-talk is hurting you on the field and holding you back from getting better at soccer. It also means that you can SEE it while on the soccer field. One of the biggest advances in overcoming negative self-talk is to reach the point where you can notice WHEN self-defeating thoughts surface. This act alone gives you more power over the situation and already starts to help you change.

Try this challenge next week on the soccer field; try to catch yourself when any of self-defeating mentalities poke up. When you notice yourself overthinking, replaying mistakes, or getting stuck on unrealistic standards of perfection, stop for a second and take note. 

Gaining and Edge Series

Follow Girls Soccer Network, and check out the Gaining an Edge series. 

Written by Jenn Ireland, Mental Skills Coach + Founder of Expand Your Game

‘Gaining an Edge’ is a 10-part series from Expand Your Game’s Mindset Mastery Academy, a transformative 1-on-1 mental skills mentorship experience for female soccer players.

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