4 Key Tips to Cultivate A Relationship With Your Soccer Coach

July 28, 2022
By Logan Cross

When you were a kid, your mom, dad, or other guardians could speak for you if someone was mean to you or if you didn’t get playing time. However, that only works when you’re young and can’t articulate what you want. As you get older, coaches don’t want to hear from your parents — they want to hear from you. Learning how to cultivate a relationship with your coach is one of the most important skills you can learn as a young soccer player, and it will definitely help you in the long run.

Developing a relationship with your coach can be difficult in the beginning. Unless they are a friend’s parent or someone close to you, it can be hard to feel comfortable enough to speak to your coach on your own. This is normal!

Feeling this discomfort is a part of becoming an adult, Socceristas. Something to remember, too, is that just like getting really good at soccer, building a relationship doesn’t happen overnight. It takes consistent practice and attention to do either of them. But in the end, it’s always worth it.

Here are a few tips and tricks for those struggling to make and maintain a connection with your coach.

Think about what you want to say ahead of time

Having a plan in place before you talk to your coach is always a good place to start. First, figure out why you need to speak with them and what you hope to get from that first conversation.

Are you looking to get more time on the field? Do you need advice on which colleges you should be looking at? Whatever it is, your coach is there to mentor you as well as train you. If you need advice, they have the answers. You need to be willing to ask them.

Ask them questions about themselves

When you first started making friends, you asked each other questions to learn more about them. In turn, they asked you questions, and the cycle continued until you knew everything about each other. The same idea can be applied to you and your soccer coach’s relationship.

Showing interest in who they are as people and not just the adults yelling at you to run faster is a great step to cultivating this connection. It’s been proven that there’s a psychological reason why people love to talk about themselves, so use this to your advantage!

Be honest with what you want

It never helps to beat around the bush. Being upfront about the issue at hand is more likely to solve the problem than not. Be clear with what you want or need so your coach can help you.

Learn how to negotiate

Advocating for yourself is not easy. Especially in soccer, it can feel like you’re making a fuss or asking for special treatment if you ask to speak to the coach alone. If anyone tries to make you feel like this when the issue is important, don’t listen to them.

However, you do need to learn when to ask for more and when to back down. The art of negotiation is a difficult one to master. Speaking up when you need something is just as important as being a team player. The chain is only as strong as its weakest link, and your ability to play will be affected if you feel weak.

Ultimately, your soccer coaches want the best for you. They want to see you grow as a person AND as a soccer player. If you’re showing up to practice and games every day with a good attitude and a strong work ethic, building a relationship with your coach will be much easier. However, being honest about your issues shows that you’re a strong, mature person who knows when to ask for help.

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